Inflammatory writ.

Dear Ms M,


We are writing to inform you that you are a hopeless case and we can no longer help you. You are beyond therapy and have slipped into the folder named 'Beyond Help'. We thought we would have problems ever since you told us that your first love was Simba from 'The Lion King' - a revelation that worried us sincerely and forced us to consider phoning the help line for people with beastial tendancies (we have subsequently been informed that there have been no repeats of this kind, which eased our minds greatly).

But I'm afraid to inform you that now you have gone too far. No matter how many times we tell you that Howl is not only a character from a film, but that he is an ANIMATION, you continue to love him and hold hopes of one day meeting him. We considered confiscating your DVD of 'Howl's Moving Castle' but realised you would simply buy another one, or even recreate your own version. Instead, we have decided simply to let you go - you can sort your own problems out.

We wish you all the luck you will need in trying to achieve this (ie. a lot).

Yours sincerely,

GetOverHim Incorporated.