OBSESSED.

.Three hours watching the French Open semi-final against Djokovic.

.Three and a half hours watching the French Open final against Nadal.

.One hour looking at all the past posts on his Facebook page.

.Four hours watching Youtube videos of him playing, laughing and (very) occasionally getting annoyed.

.An hour and a half finding yummy photos.

.Two hours researching his entire life up to this point.

Jeeeez. I knew I liked him and thought him insanely cute for speaking perfect English, being polite, wearing cardigans and generally being lovely but I seem to have taken it to the next level since Friday. Uh oh. Thank God I only have two weeks till Wimbledon starts, I needs me another Federer fix.

Forget you.

"The guy's a douche if he's with a gf who's perma-tanned and a general bitchface."

Dear Brain,

Please read the above statement and start to believe it. Let me know when you're done.

Much appreciated, Bored-Of-Not-Being-Over-Him.

Just Friends.

Finally understanding the whole Ross/Rachel situation in Friends, circa. series 1/2.

So the situation goes:

Boy liked me.

I didn't like Boy (like that).

I started to like Boy.

Boy gets girlfriend.

I now like Boy more than I've ever liked anyone.

But I can't have him.

I don't know what to do. I've never seen him and his gf together as she's been away, so I don't know what they're like together or how much he likes her.

But since his Birthday last week, I get the impression he's not completely over me. He was very drunk and spent the entire night talking to me, even though his best friends were there who surely he would have preferred talking to rather than a girl he used to like? Also, he was super tactile with me, just like he used to be when he liked me. He wouldn't stop kissing/hugging me, he called me gorgeous and cute the entire night, he kept stroking my nose and saying it was his favourite thing about me, and at one point he had his hand on my arse for about ten minutes, even though we were standing talking to his friends.

I know he was drunk, but surely he wouldn't have acted like that if he didn't still have some feelings for me?

I don't know what to do. I don't want to be that girl who breaks up a couple and I wouldn't actually ever do anything with him while he's still in a relationship, but should I let him know that I like him? A lot? That way if he says no I can actually start to move on because I know nothing will ever happen. And if he says yes....well, I can't think of anything nicer.

Sometimes I really wonder why men were invented.

Cat Power

I've decided I want a denim jacket. Obviously this means that in my search I have found lots of lovely things, excluding the perfect denim jacket.

*Sigh*


Oh well. I shall continue my search. In the meantime, here are some pretty things I want but as usual can't afford:

Untitled 3.

I'm so sick of being stuck in the house with my family and nothing else to do. Why do the holidays have to be so fucking long? I just want to be back in Brighton where waking up at 1pm isn't late and sitting in the kitchen talking to your best friend for hours counts as a productive day.

I love my family and friends in my hometown but it's really difficult to enjoy myself here when I know there's so much more potential for fun at uni, because you can meet new and interesting people every week and do exactly what you want to do. Regardless of what my parents think I'm actually pretty capable of looking after myself, but being in their house and having to follow their rules makes me feel useless.

I should never have gone back to visit Brighton for a night on Monday, now I'm finding my home life unbearable and I don't want to.

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine.

I'm leaving uni for the Christmas holidays on Sunday and I don't know how I'm going to cope. I think I'll be alright with the build up to Christmas, but after that I know I'll just want to come back and have a few drinks with my housemates at the Pav Tav. FOUR WHOLE WEEKS without that place is going to be torture, especially as there's nothing like it in my hometown, just a few old men pubs, Wetherspoons and a couple of really shitty clubs.

I'm going to miss the people here like crazy as well. They really are true friends I could talk to about anything, I can't believe I've only known them ten weeks and not ten years. Plus there are no cute barmen I can have mini-romances with at home, although I'm definitely not looking forward to the whole 'Have you got a boyfriend yet?' followed by a look of pity when I say 'NO!'. I'm not ready for a proper relationship yet, so stop looking at me like I should be ashamed I'm not in one. Just because my older sister and brother had perfect relationships when they were my age, doesn't mean I have to settle down.

I am a bit sniffly, and haven't even started an essay due in tomorrow yet, but I'm still going out tonight. It's the last week, I'm going to cram as much Pav Tav time in as I can!

?

After how last night went, apparantly it's not as over as I thought.



Yay!




I am happy, even if I did embarass myself to the extreme and only got in at 8.30am this morning. Have MASSIVE hangover coming on depsite taking two aspirin.